- Behavior Problems of Children
- Immature Behaviors
- Insecure Behaviors
- Habit Disorders
- Peer Problems
- Antisocial Behaviors
It is generally recognized that all children go through periods of emotional and behavior difficulty. Indeed, data from the California Growth Study show that both boys and girls average five to six problems at any given time during the preschool and elementary-school years. The prevalence of these behavior difficulties declines with age for school-age children. Thus, younger children, ages 6 through 8, by far exceed older children, ages 9 through 12, in the number of behavior deviations. Moreover, boys have a higher incidence of behavior problems than do girls. Also noteworthy is the finding that there seems to be very little difference in the amount of problem behaviors exhibited by only children and children with siblings.
Although common, the problems of normal children should not be considered unimportant by parents and therefore left to self-resolution. These problems need to be confronted and effectively resolved since neglect or mismanagement can lead to more serious difficulties. Parents tend to find rationalizations for avoiding taking any action when their child has a behavior problem.
The most common rationalizations are:
1) The problem is being exaggerated and is actually much milder than the person who is pressuring the parents to seek help believes it to be.
2) It will go away with time.
3) Taking action might in some way damage the child's sensitive nature or paradoxically make matters worse by "making the child think about it more".
4) The child "by nature" is destined to have the problem and nothing can be done.
Norman vs. Abnormal Behavior
When is a child's behavior problem so severe or abnormal that professional help is needed? The difference between normal and abnormal behaviors is one of degree, that is, how often and how frequently does the behavior cause a problem for the child, the parents, and/or the community. If the discomfort to the child and/or others is quite frequent or very severe in nature then professional counseling or therapy for the child and family may be warranted.
The more misbehavior the child exhibits, the less age-appropriate the behavior, the longer the duration of the problem, and the more resistant the child has been to efforts to help him, the more likely it is that professional assistance is required to resolve the problem.
Apart from the severity, persistence, and resistance to change of a problem, there are certain signs to look for which indicate that a child is experiencing serious psychological difficulties:
1) Prolonged, constant anxiety, apprehension, or fear which is not proportionate to reality.
2) Signs of depression, such as a growing apathy and withdrawal from people.
3) An abrupt change in a child's mood or behavior so that he just does not seem to be himself anymore.
4) Sleep disturbances, such as sleeping too much, not being able to sleep enough, restless or nightmarish sleep, not being able to get to sleep, or waking up early.
5) Appetite disturbances, including loss of appetite, gain of weight due to excessive eating, or eating bizarre substances such as dirt or garbage.
6) Disturbances in sexual functioning, such as promiscuity, exposing oneself, or excessive masturbation.
The research indicates that when parents are concerned about a serious behavior problem in their children, they are most likely to turn to their extended family for advice and assistance. The second most frequent source of help they look to is local mental health professionals, school counselors, family doctors, and the clergy. These highly trained professionals are available locally, and parents should feel free to seek their services when problems arise or to answer questions. To obtain a therapist for their child, parents might want to ask the family doctors for a referral, or call the local mental health or family service association.
Although common, the problems of normal children should not be considered unimportant by parents and therefore left to self-resolution. These problems need to be confronted and effectively resolved since neglect or mismanagement can lead to more serious difficulties. Parents tend to find rationalizations for avoiding taking any action when their child has a behavior problem.
The most common rationalizations are:
1) The problem is being exaggerated and is actually much milder than the person who is pressuring the parents to seek help believes it to be.
2) It will go away with time.
3) Taking action might in some way damage the child's sensitive nature or paradoxically make matters worse by "making the child think about it more".
4) The child "by nature" is destined to have the problem and nothing can be done.
Norman vs. Abnormal Behavior
When is a child's behavior problem so severe or abnormal that professional help is needed? The difference between normal and abnormal behaviors is one of degree, that is, how often and how frequently does the behavior cause a problem for the child, the parents, and/or the community. If the discomfort to the child and/or others is quite frequent or very severe in nature then professional counseling or therapy for the child and family may be warranted.
The more misbehavior the child exhibits, the less age-appropriate the behavior, the longer the duration of the problem, and the more resistant the child has been to efforts to help him, the more likely it is that professional assistance is required to resolve the problem.
Apart from the severity, persistence, and resistance to change of a problem, there are certain signs to look for which indicate that a child is experiencing serious psychological difficulties:
1) Prolonged, constant anxiety, apprehension, or fear which is not proportionate to reality.
2) Signs of depression, such as a growing apathy and withdrawal from people.
3) An abrupt change in a child's mood or behavior so that he just does not seem to be himself anymore.
4) Sleep disturbances, such as sleeping too much, not being able to sleep enough, restless or nightmarish sleep, not being able to get to sleep, or waking up early.
5) Appetite disturbances, including loss of appetite, gain of weight due to excessive eating, or eating bizarre substances such as dirt or garbage.
6) Disturbances in sexual functioning, such as promiscuity, exposing oneself, or excessive masturbation.
The research indicates that when parents are concerned about a serious behavior problem in their children, they are most likely to turn to their extended family for advice and assistance. The second most frequent source of help they look to is local mental health professionals, school counselors, family doctors, and the clergy. These highly trained professionals are available locally, and parents should feel free to seek their services when problems arise or to answer questions. To obtain a therapist for their child, parents might want to ask the family doctors for a referral, or call the local mental health or family service association.
The immature child has not developed behaviorally, psychologically, intellectually, or socially according to some accepted standard. Most usual is the criterion of "average" as defined by peers and adults. Therefore, if a child shows a lag in any area of development, he or she may be labeled as "immature." The behavior is viewed as being more characteristic of the behavior of a younger child. Many children develop unevenly. They may be very mature in one area and very immature in another. For example, a child might be very neat, organized, and sow great self-control in school. Yet at home she might be overly dependent, messy, and complaining. A frequent problem is that parents may label children as immature, when in fact they are as mature as other children of that age but do not meet the parents' personal expectations. Also, children may be relatively mature and occasionally regress under some form of stress to more childish behavior. A significant point is that the more infantile behavior such as whining or complaining usually ceases when the stress is over. Criticism of the immature reaction usually serves to intensify the problem. Emotional support and encouragement enables the child to weather the storm, give up the babyish behavior, and resume her usual relatively more effective way of coping.
Therefore, a parent complaining that a child is immature has to say how that child behaves. If a child clowns, daydreams, and uses tome poorly, then those three immature behaviors may be dealt with. Otherwise, parents wind up using general approaches which are often ineffective in changing behavior. The behaviors covered are:
Therefore, a parent complaining that a child is immature has to say how that child behaves. If a child clowns, daydreams, and uses tome poorly, then those three immature behaviors may be dealt with. Otherwise, parents wind up using general approaches which are often ineffective in changing behavior. The behaviors covered are:
1. Hyperactive
2. Impulsive
3. Short-attention-span-distracted
4. Silly-clowning
5. Daydreaming
6. Messy-sloppy
7. Time-used-poorly
8. Selfish-self-centered
9. Overdependent and Whining-Complaining
These behaviors are often seen as indicators of an inability of the child to cope with the demands of a variety of situations. The demands or expectations of peers and adults for a child to act maturely or age-appropriately are often not met by a large number of children. Coping more adequately leads others to be more satisfied with a child's behavior and leads to the child feeling more self-satisfied or having a better "self-image". Overcoming specific problems paves the way for achieving more self-confidence, independence, and satisfying social relationships.
It is worth noting some general ideas about emotional maturity. Mature children are relatively flexible and respond rather to some degree, rather than all or none. They are able to delay their reaction rather than have to act immediately. Their ability to tolerate tension should gradually increase. By school age, they should be able to tolerate and handle minor everyday stress without exploding or falling to pieces. Promoting maturity and preventing immature behavior may be accomplished by the following (see the individual sections for specific details). Teach children how to focus their attention, solve problems, delay gratification, effectively use their time, accept responsibility, and give and get attention. Socially, you model and encourage concern, consideration, and sensitivity to others. Each day, children should feel relatively competent, self-accepting, and have a sense of personal satisfaction.
2. Impulsive
3. Short-attention-span-distracted
4. Silly-clowning
5. Daydreaming
6. Messy-sloppy
7. Time-used-poorly
8. Selfish-self-centered
9. Overdependent and Whining-Complaining
These behaviors are often seen as indicators of an inability of the child to cope with the demands of a variety of situations. The demands or expectations of peers and adults for a child to act maturely or age-appropriately are often not met by a large number of children. Coping more adequately leads others to be more satisfied with a child's behavior and leads to the child feeling more self-satisfied or having a better "self-image". Overcoming specific problems paves the way for achieving more self-confidence, independence, and satisfying social relationships.
It is worth noting some general ideas about emotional maturity. Mature children are relatively flexible and respond rather to some degree, rather than all or none. They are able to delay their reaction rather than have to act immediately. Their ability to tolerate tension should gradually increase. By school age, they should be able to tolerate and handle minor everyday stress without exploding or falling to pieces. Promoting maturity and preventing immature behavior may be accomplished by the following (see the individual sections for specific details). Teach children how to focus their attention, solve problems, delay gratification, effectively use their time, accept responsibility, and give and get attention. Socially, you model and encourage concern, consideration, and sensitivity to others. Each day, children should feel relatively competent, self-accepting, and have a sense of personal satisfaction.
Most of the problem behaviors covered here have often been called "neurotic" types of behavior by professionals and by the public. We use the more common term insecure, which accurately describes children basically lacking in confidence and frequently feeling fearful and anxious. In the United States, approximately 10 percent of children have serious feelings of insecurity that interfere with their functioning. Behaviors covered are anxious-worrier, fearful, low self-esteem, depressed-self-injurious, hypersensitive to criticism, shy-withdrawn, and compulsive-perfectionistic. Some children are described as cowardly or being a sissy. The cowardly child is fearful, timid, lacks courage, and has little self-confidence. These problem behaviors are covered in the sections concerning low self-esteem, fearfulness, and hypersensitivity. There is a growing interest in preventing the development of insecurity. Early exposure and education helps familiarize children with potentially fearful situations. Children can be shown and taught how to cope with new situations in an assertive, effective manner.
Insecurity may be prevented by raising children in a manner that promotes self-confidence, adaptablility, and optimism. However, since all children experience some form of insecurity, the basic issue is the effectiveness of helping children cope with their feelings. Almost all children become fearful, depressed, and hypersensitive at times. When this occurs, parents try to help byt are often seen by children as being unhelpful and critical. The key is to communicate understanding and that you are truly on the children's side, not against them. You create a psychological atmosphere of relative calmness and clarity of purpose. Within this positive atmosphere, you provide children with the specific problem. The aim is to quickly and efficiently help children cope with the expected feelings of anxiety, fear, and oversensitivity. By reviewing the following sections you learn how to teach children to cope with stress, relax, focus their thinking, solve problems, be assertive, and think and behave in an optimistic and positive manner.
Insecure Behaviors Contents:
Insecurity may be prevented by raising children in a manner that promotes self-confidence, adaptablility, and optimism. However, since all children experience some form of insecurity, the basic issue is the effectiveness of helping children cope with their feelings. Almost all children become fearful, depressed, and hypersensitive at times. When this occurs, parents try to help byt are often seen by children as being unhelpful and critical. The key is to communicate understanding and that you are truly on the children's side, not against them. You create a psychological atmosphere of relative calmness and clarity of purpose. Within this positive atmosphere, you provide children with the specific problem. The aim is to quickly and efficiently help children cope with the expected feelings of anxiety, fear, and oversensitivity. By reviewing the following sections you learn how to teach children to cope with stress, relax, focus their thinking, solve problems, be assertive, and think and behave in an optimistic and positive manner.
Insecure Behaviors Contents:
- Anxious-Worrier
- Fearful
- Low Self-Esteem
- Depressed-Self-Injurious
- Hypersensitivity to Criticism
- Shy
- Compulsive-Perfectionistic
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